You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
