Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
