Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
