You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
