when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
