how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
