im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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