people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
