thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
These tits shall not be calmed
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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