tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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