I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
