Apparently you make a good broom.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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