four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
