2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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