and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
