Nicole vs. Life
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize