Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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