i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
