The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize