I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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