I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
