there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
