There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize