mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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