erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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