Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
