I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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