What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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