Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
