I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
