why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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