She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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