saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
