My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
