i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
