just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
