also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
