If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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