im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
