I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
