Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
