i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Send help, water and tortillas.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
