I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My vagina is very pro this idea
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