Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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