I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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