Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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