He told me they were just razor bumps!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
