Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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