Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
