She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
