what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
