Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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