Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
