his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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