whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i will never coherently bang her
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
