Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
