First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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