You work out of a Hotel?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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