college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She bit a glass in half.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
