so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
