Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
