I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
