i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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