Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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