Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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