I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize