I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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