I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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